Minty Nipples: Reprise

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 4:37 PM

Prepare for Nipplegate Two: The Reckoning.

Proving once again that even I have my finger on the pulse of the Australian zeitgeist much more than they do, News Ltd. have finally reported the "outrage" (I use the term loosely) over the Mentos Ice nipple ad.

From The Courier-Mail:
AN advertisement which features a man with elongated nipples could be pulled from TV screens in days.

The plug stars a beachgoer whose nipples miraculously grow after he tries Mentos chewing gum.

The Advertising Standards Board said complaints from disgusted viewers started as soon as the ad was screened at the weekend.

"As soon as the advert went to air we received a number of complaints about its content, regarding inappropriate sexual references and claims that it was discriminatory to both men and women," ASB chief executive Fiona Jolly said. "The advert is being rushed on to the agenda of the next meeting of the board this week."

Of course people are put off by the explicit sexual nature of the ad. Man-nipples are so sexy. And anyway, nipples must be The Devil, because Our Dear Lord wouldn't have given man something that might allude to the theory of evolution!

Okay, so I'm blowing the whole stupid discussion out of proportion a bit. Here are my thoughts:

Stupid: Yes.

Disturbing: Mildly.

Offensive: No more offensive than this:

And at the end of the day, just like with anything on TV, you can turn it off or change the channel. No-one is making you watch it. Unless you're an armless, legless man in a closed room with no way of contacting anyone, in which case you probably have more pressing matters on your mind.

So let's hear some thoughts and opinions. Would we be having this same discussion if the man in the ad had puffy areoli? Why the hell is it left to me to defend things I don't even like? Will I get my number one Google result for "Minty Nipples"? Do I use too many tacked-on questions?

Only time (and your comments) will tell.