Show / Bag

Monday, September 25, 2006, 11:38 PM

Warning: Objects in image may be more expensive than they appear.

Kids! Bogans! Slack-jawed yokels! Lend me your ears!

It's Royal Melbourne Show time again. A magical time to... well, blow a wad of cash, really. So if you're going to blow a wad of cash, why not blow it on the bestest showbag money can buy - The Couch Culture showbag!

You get:

1 x J. Statler, Esq. Figurine (Dances to the tune of "Bust A Move"... if you get him drunk enough.)

1 x strand of hair from one J. Statler, Esq. (It's a treasure that'll last a lifetime! Especially with advanced cloning techniques!)

1 x khaki shirt (That'll put my showbag on every bogan's wishlist.)

1 x copy of Daryl Somers' Songlines (Every showbag aims to unload at least one piece of crap on an unsuspecting public.)

4 x Rohypnol tablets (Hey Mum! Ever tried to get the kids in the car after four bags of fairy floss and a day at the show?)

1 x Jana Wednt (Well, no-one else wants her!)

1 x doll from the Bratz™ Herpes range (Mummy, why does my Maddiyssen doll have red spots?)

1 x "The Very Best Of The Wedge" DVD (That's right, a blank disc.)

1 x Dagwood Dog (Celebrate your day with some fried processed meat on a stick. Mmm!)

...and of course
1 x Bertie Beetle.

All for the ridiculously small price of $200!

So get on down to the Royal Show and buy your Couch Culture bag! Get in quick, and as an added bonus, we'll give you a bag with a dodgy handle, so the bastard will split open and spill your goodies as soon as you step off the Ferris Wheel! You can't lose!