Outrage! Conflict! Etc.!

I really need to stop reading news.com.au; it's making me schizophrenic:

South Park Lampoons Irwin Death

SOUTH Park's creators have made a cartoon poking fun at Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin's death as his daughter Bindi prepares to launch a fitness DVD "taking the bite out of obesity"

Statler 1: Oh, noes! How dare those evil unconscionable South Park bastards even think of trying to derail poor Bindi's burgeoning career!

Statler 2: Hang on for a moment, maybe we should read more before we start to burn effigies. It's probably just News Ltd. hyping up a giant chunk of nothing again.

South Park has revealed an episode in which Irwin attends a fancy dress party in hell with a stingray sticking out of his chest.

Irwin died on September 4 when a stingray barb pierced his chest while diving on the Great Barrier Reef.

"We have offended people in the past and probably will again,'' a South Park spokesman told a London newspaper.

The episode had been scheduled to air in the US on Wednesday (Oct 25). An SBS spokesperson said in all likelihood the episode would be broadcast in Australia but probably not until 2008.

Statler 1: Curses! How are they able to get away with such treachery? Damn you, First Amendment! Damn you, right to free speech!

Statler 2: I told you, it's no big deal. I even have the video here. Take a look for yourself.

Now what is so objectionable about that?

Statler 1: Steve Irwin is God. You wouldn't make fun of God, would you? Look, there's more...

The timing could not be worse after Mr Irwin's eight-year-old daughter today announced she would launch her first DVD Bindi Kidfitness which features her famous father.

Available from November 25, the DVD will "fight fat with fun''.

It includes nine animal-inspired songs and routines performed by Bindi and her all-singing, all-dancing sidekicks the Crocmen.

Bindi also whips up fat-free treats with her father in a segment called "Steve's Cooking School''.

Irwin features throughout the DVD as he dances, plays instruments and - in a scene that may raise questions about its suitability - swims with his daughter.

Statler 2: Hang on, when did this become a promo piece? What does that have to do with the guys from South Park?

Statler 1: What do you mean, it has everything to do with it!!1! Everyone's against Bindi!!1!

Statler 2: Now you're just be illogical.

Statler 1: THAT'S IT!!1!eleventyone! I'm sick of you, and I'm sick of being a part of this guy's conscience. I'm getting out of here. Maybe I'll go someplace where people share my moralistic views.

Statler 2: National Party headquarters?

Statler 1: Darn tootin'!

Statler 2: Yeah, well good riddance. Fuckwit.